November 22, 2003

It's like, so unfair

Why are the old fogeys and usage whiners of the world so upset about the epistemic-hedging use of like, as in She's, like, so cool? The old fogeys use equivalent devices themselves, all the time. An extremely common one is "if you will". Semantically it does exactly what like does. Let me explain.

Look at these synonymous pairs:

  1. The evidence I think will show that of the total amount of money raised from private sources, and from profits or increases in markup, if you will, on the sale of U.S. weapons to Iran, that a relatively small percentage of that money went to the Contras.

  2. The evidence I think will show that of the total amount of money raised from private sources, and from profits or increases in, like, markup on the sale of U.S. weapons to Iran, that a relatively small percentage of that money went to the Contras.

  3. The baboon that's best at coping with stress is the one that seeks emotional backing from other baboons (support groups, if you will), the researchers found.

  4. The baboon that's best at coping with stress is the one that seeks emotional backing from other baboons (like, support groups), the researchers found.

  5. And the bland assumption that all cartoons are childish or trivial is itself, if you will, a cartoon version of "cartoon."

  6. And the bland assumption that all cartoons are childish or trivial is itself, like, a cartoon version of "cartoon."

  7. "We were willing to overlook it, if you will, being a growth company."

  8. "We were willing to, like, overlook it, being a growth company."

  9. I think it's a reason we've done well; part of our mystique, if you will.

  10. I think it's a reason we've done well; part of, like, our mystique.

  11. They are, if you will, this country's governing body.

  12. They are, like, this country's governing body.

  13. There is also a potential source of shenanigans, if you will.

  14. There is also a potential source of, like, shenanigans.

In each case, the first sentence is a quote from The Wall Street Journal. They mostly appear to be quotes from educated and prosperous middle-aged persons — CEOs and so on. The second sentence in each pair is my translation into the style of younger speakers.

When people who think the English language is going to hell in a handcart cite phenomena like this use of like as their evidence, things are going a bit too far. Like functions in younger speakers' English as something perfectly ordinary: a way to signal hedging about vocabulary choice -- a momentary uncertainty about whether the adjacent expression is exactly the right form of words or not. If the English language didn't implode when if you will took on this kind of role among the baby boomers, it will survive having like take on an extremely similar role for their kids. The people who grouse about like are myopic old whiners who haven't looked at their own, like, linguistic foibles, if you will.

Posted by Geoffrey K. Pullum at November 22, 2003 02:14 AM