From the Language Log Sportsdesk
The world may be about to end. But before I get to that, here's some
advice. If you're a World Cup goalie, don't worry about fizzing balls.
They always miss.
Don't ask me why. Maybe it's the fizz.
Here's some of the latest World Cup action:
Paraguay 2 - 0 Trinidad and Tobago
Trinidad started the
second half much livelier, with Carlos Edwards
fizzing a fine cross
right across the goalmouth. It begged to be fired
home but was not.
Sydney Morning Herald June 22, 2006
Holland 0 - 0 Argentina
Riquelme sent a shot fizzing just wide.
Guardian
June 21, 2006
England 2 - 2 Sweden
Twice in the first
half, Lampard made perfectly-timed runs at the heart
of the Swedish defence. The first ended with a glanced header wide and
the second culminated in a fizzing
20-yard strike
that whistled
narrowly over the crossbar.
The
Northern Echo June 21, 2006
Italy 1 - 1 USA
Two minutes later
Dempsey came closest, with his 30-yard strike fizzing
inches wide of
Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon's right post.
Belfast Telegraph June 18, 2006
Argentina 6 - 0 Serbia and Montenegro
There was no let up for
the Serbs after the break as Argentina
continued to strut their stuff. Crespo almost added his name to the
score sheet when he sent in a fizzing
shot which
Jevric was unable to
hold.
World Soccer
June 16, 2006
Brazil 2 - 0 Australia
Ronaldo's first good
goal chance first good goal chance came on 28
minutes when he saw the whites of Mark Schwarzer's eyes but as pulled
the trigger Australian defender Craig Moore got across to make a timely
block. Just before half-time he sent another shot fizzing
past the
post.
Unison.ie
Sports Desk June 18, 2006
In a Google News search, I found exactly 12 fizzing goal attempts (if you include that Trinidad "cross"). They
all missed. The only on-target fizzing goal I found in current Google
News was hypothetical, in a report in The Times about goalkeepers
who've been fretting about the new lighter World Cup football:
Robinson primed to deal with curve ball
Robinson's complaint
has been echoed by Jens Lehmann, the Arsenal and
Germany goalkeeper. Beckham or Roberto Carlos curling a fizzing
shot into the
top corner is one thing, but Robinson claims that even
England's yeomen have suddenly been transformed into free-kick
specialists.
Times
Online June 21, 2006
Robinson and Lehmann needn't worry about those fizzing shots. As soon
as they hear fizz, they know they should just leave the ball well
alone. Touching it will almost certainly lead to a corner, whereas if
they casually put on the shades they have in their back pockets and
light up a cigarette, they're guaranteed (or their Language Log
subscriptions will be returned in full) a goal kick after the wildly
spinning ball passes harmlessly inches past the post. It's a bit like
those Doodlebugs the Germans sent over London: if you heard the sound
of one, you knew you were safe. Oops. Don't
mention the war.
Mind you, in a search not restricted to current news, I did find
evidence the fizzing balls can get into the goal, especially in hockey.
In fact, 2 out of 2 fizzing hockey goal attempts I found were on target:
Columbians 3- 0 Beavers
Guernsey Hockey Cup
Probably the best goal of the day was the last goal of the day. Cairns
beat two defenders at the top of the D before fizzing
a reverse stick
drive into the corner of the goal.
BBC
Guernsey Website
March 23, 2006
Luton Town 3
- 1 Harpenden
The talented Luton side
were not to be overawed however and quickly hit
back with a goal from a short corner, the fizzing
flick into the top corner leaving keeper Ben Brind with little chance.
Harpenden
Hockey Club Feb 11, 2006
Hmm. This is either an effect of the stick, maybe even with the fizzing describing the stick action rather than ball motion, or else lower quality
journos who don't get the whole fizzing thing. You know, like all this fizzing maybe has something to do with language? Ahem.
Now, the latest extraterrestrial science, from today's CNN: Earth
surrounded by giant fizzy bubbles. Apparently, "the space above you
is fizzing" and bubbles of superhot gas are being observed
popping all
around the Earth. The implications are clear. An intergalactic
superspecies is playing target practice. And here is the bad news -
remember you read it first on Language Log - we are the target!!! It's an
intergalactic version of soccer, obviously: who would believe in aliens
playing hockey? But the good news is that these guys, though slimy,
green, multi-eyed, in possession of ultra-long-distance magnetic
superheated plasma technologies of which we can only dream, and
determined, lizard brains overwhelmed by the furious grip of football
fever, that if they can't win the World Cup there shall be no World,
can't shoot to save their sorry asses. Too flashy by half. As long as
they keep fizzing the ball, we have absolutely nothing to worry about.