It is rapidly becoming clear that there are numerous English snowclones devoted almost entirely to the purpose of linguifying claims. In this post I gather together just a few of them, with some illustrative examples people have sent in. The snowclones I illustrate — and I'm sure the list is not exhaustive — are these (some assembly required: substitute a term denoting a language for L; a noun for N; a word for W; the name of a linguistic unit (such as "sentence") for U; and names or definite descriptions for X):
Can't even spell/pronounce W
Not know the meaning of W
W isn't in X's dictionary/vocabulary
W is not in L
W is X's middle name
W and V are (not) found in the same U
Look up W in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of X
Hate the word W
Not know the name of X
Hear the word W and reach for one's N
Can't even spell/pronounce W
Etiquette: I Can't Even Spell It! Teen Dining & Social Etiquette (title of a videotape released in 2000).
See also this post for an example (highly controversial: millions of people wrote to me saying they didn't understand what I was talking about).
Not know the meaning of W
1895, New York Times:
He is a modern Claude Duval. He is the nerviest man that ever stood in two boots, and doesn't know the meaning of the word fear.
1862, John Ruskin, Unto This Last, ii.40:
Primarily, which is very notable and curious, I observe that men of business rarely know the meaning of the word 'rich'.
[Thanks to Jan Freeman for these examples.]
W isn't in X's dictionary/vocabulary
See Mark Liberman's post, "The dictionary of fools", for many examples of this snowclone. And notice that Douglas Adams was mocking it in 1987 in his novel Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency:
"The word 'impossible' is not in my dictionary. In fact, everything between 'herring' and 'marmalade' appears to be missing."
W is not in L
1813: Napoleon:
"Ce n'est pas possible, m'écrivez-vous: cela n'est pas français."
[It is not possible, you write to me: that is not French.]
W is X's middle name
See the quotations gathered on
this
Wikipedia page.
Not found/occur in the same U
"when people are talking about me, the words 'computer' and 'savvy' are never in the same sentence" [from http://www11.brinkster.com/asij1993/News/UpdateSprFall00.asp]
Douglas Adams plays with this one in his 1987 novel Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency:
WFT-II was the only British software company that could be mentioned in the same sentence as such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus. The sentence would probably run along the lines of "WFT-II, unlike such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus ..." but it was a start.
Look up W in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of X
2000, Dan Savage in the Village Voice:
Forget about keeping it a secret; when you look up fishbowl in the dictionary there's a picture of a graduate student lounge.
. . . when you look up deadline in the dictionary you won't find a picture of my brother (http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0023,savage,15435,24.html)
Hate the word W
1623 William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet":
What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:
Have at thee, coward!
Not know the name of X
1629, Léonard de Marandé,
The iudgment of humane actions a most learned, &
excellent treatise of morrall philosophie, which fights agaynst vanytie,
& conduceth to the fyndinge out of true and perfect felicytie,
written in French by Monsieur Leonard Marrande and Englished by Iohn
Reynolds London: Imprinted by A. Mathewes for Nicholas Bourne, at
ye Royall Exchange (http://gateway.proquest.com/openurl?ctx_ver=3DZ39.88-2003)
It is true, Choler hath power and predominancy ouer all men; that there are many people who haue not yet approoued the stings of ambition, who know not the name of Couetousnesse, and yet there are none who haue not felt the effect of Choler.
[Thanks to Bruce Rusk for this. There was another example posted here from Dryden's translation of Chaucer, but I have been persuaded that it did not illustrate the point.]
Hear the word W and reach for one's N
Originates
with the famous line from the play Schlageter by Nazi playwright
Hanns Johst: "Wenn ich Kultur höre ... entsichere
ich meinen Browning" ("If I hear [the word] ‘culture’
... I release the safety-catch of my Browning"), often misquoted as
"When I hear the word culture I reach for my revolver", and misattributed
to Hermann Goering.
Again, notice Douglas Adams deftly mocking this snowclone in chapter 2 of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980):
"When he heard the words integrity or moral rectitude he reached for his dictionary, and when he heard the chink of ready money in large quantities he reached for the rule book and threw it away."