A staggeringly incompetent fake lottery-winnings spam email just arrived from WINNERSLOTTO@terra.es (with the Content-Language field showing "es", meaning Spanish, incidentally, a rather implausible setting for a supposedly official announcement from a British national lottery agency). Notice that not even the Subject field is free of linguistic mistakes they only managed to type the first 8 characters correctly):
From: WINNERSLOTTOSubject: Congratualtion/Award anotification UK NATIONAL LOTTERY Support Centre Bevan House 51 Bevan Avenue Conwy LL28 5AF United Kingdom FROM:THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER, INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT, REF: UNL/26510460037/02 BATCH: 24/00319/IPD ATTENTION:Winnwers RE/AWARD NOTIFICATION;FINAL NOTICE We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today, 5th July 2005, of winners of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,THE UNITED KINGDOM INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS held on 30th July 2005 in Croydon,London.
You email address was attached to ticket number 023-0148-790-459, with serial number 5073-11 drew the lucky numbers 43-11-44-37-10-43, and consequently won you the lottery in the 1st category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of £100,000,000 british pounds in cash credited to file REF NO. UNL/26510460037/02 . This is from total prize money of £500,00,000.00 (GBP) shared among the ten international winners in this category. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Website through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 companies from Austraaalia,NewZealand,America,Europe, NorthAmerica,Africa and Asia as part of International Promotions Program, which is conducted annually. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your £100,000,000 british pounds would be released to you by our preferred payment center in London. Our agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming a nd unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements.Please be warned. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program. To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent; AGENT:ALAN C BROWN Claim agent/Payment coordinator The UK NATIONAL LOTTERY EMAIL : sir_alancbrown@myway.com or alancbrown1@yahoo.co.uk UK NATIONAL LOTTERY For due processing and remittance of your prize money,please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in every one of your correspondences with your agent. Furthermore, should there be any change of your address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible. Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotional lottery program. Sincerely, Jox White Smith Zonal Co-ordinator www.national-lottery.com
From the Subject line on, it just gets worse. It is hard to count the errors. The word "winners" is misspelled; the second paragraph begins ungrammatically ("You email address" should begin with "Your") and gets worse (there seem to be two main verbs fighting each other like two weasels in a sack); the supposed total amount of money in the lottery ("£500,00,000.00") is not a well-formed number expression; "british" should have been capitalized; "Austraaalia" should have not quite so many a's in it (three or four is ample); numerous spaces are skipped after punctuation marks...
The sheer pig ignorance of criminals today boggles the mind. Whatever happened to the literate masterminds and gentleman jewel thieves of yesterday? Where are the brilliant confidence tricksters going to extraordinarily lengths to set up an elaborate scenario for a perfect sting? What I keep reading in the news is stories about totally dumb criminals, like the bank robber who wrote his gimme-the-money note on the back of an envelope correctly addressed to him and let the teller keep the note. The senders of the above spam are of similar intellectual caliber. Crime is apparently being taken over by complete idiots. Learn your grammar, Jox, or not many people are going to fall for the part of the caper where they hand over their bank account details. (By the way, is a British lottery administrator really likely to be called "Jox"?)
Added later: People keep mailing me to tell me smugly that I'm wrong, I didn't realize that spams contain deliberate misspellings in order to fool spam filters. But that's not it. Can anyone really believe that the people whose work is reproduced above spelled giveaway phrases like "promotional lottery" and "been approved" and "security reasons" without changes, but added extra letters to "Australia", removed the space from "New Zealand" and "North America", decapitalized "British", and wrote ungrammatical phrases like "your claims is processed", and "a lump sum pay" to try and avoid spamassassin? Nonsense. I have a better theory, one that works. The spammers were drooling idiots who slept through their English classes and are now not qualified even for crime. Old-timers will recall that I have previously written on Language Log about other evidence for the existence of spammers who can't write well enough to spam: here and here and here.
Posted by Geoffrey K. Pullum at July 7, 2005 06:34 PM